Santa, Maybe

Episode 14 of You Sleigh Me: A Christmas Mystery

Something fell into place in my brain. I asked: “Is that what all this is about? Setting the record straight? Or did you just want to get your own back?”

“A little of both, perhaps. For years I have had to see myself depicted as a buffoon, an overweight clown who squeezes himself down chimneys while dressed in a ridiculous red costume. Centuries of being mocked tends to try one’s patience.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough. But as you pointed out, Santa baby, most of us don’t even know who you are. How can we mock you, when to us you’re just a caricature? And if you want to revamp your image, terrifying your namesakes or squishing little kids under Christmas trees aren’t the smartest ways of doing it.”

He glared at me. “The tree was a miscalculation. I am perhaps not as fond of children as people claim, but even so…had the boy been injured, I would never have forgiven myself. As for the rest,” he made an elegant dismissive gesture, “mere conjuring tricks. Much less impressive than a flying reindeer, for instance.” 

He may have been a dry old stick, but he had a humorous glint in his eye. I said: “Well, since you’ve gone to all this trouble, here’s your big chance. I’m not going anywhere. Tell me the real story. The full biog, no holds barred. Maybe I’ll spread it around.”

He considered this for a moment. Then he said: “Your argot is a little confusing, but I think I grasp your meaning. Make yourself comfortable: you may be surprised.”

To be continued...